Because you often see him when you are not prepared. When you are looking like trash and had no sleep at all.
You see him in the strangest places. In the most awkward moments. Like in a mall's comfort room.
In a public vehicle wherein the only unoccupied sit is the one next to him. Coincidentally, all the songs that the DJ is playing are the songs that you used to play together. Yeah, and so that blows up the sadness inside your heart and reminds you of the good 'ol times.
He passed by your gig venue and he heard you sing when you are hoarse .
When you find it hard to have gigs at all and there he is with his new vocalist, having a hard time getting sleep at all because of every night performances.
And yes, seeing him with his new vocalist makes you feel a little drop of jealousy.
You see him when everything is cloudy with your current guitarist.
You see him when you feel like a waste of oxygen in this world.
But then again you know you have to move on. It is hard, but what makes it harder is the fact that there's this permanent connection between the both you - you are his son's godfather and that makes him your kumpare. Oh, if only you could tell your godson why you didn't make it to his first birthday party.
There is a reason why your former band broke-up. Whatever it is, you will find it somewhere along your journey. But for now, you have to let go and move on.
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